"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."



Scanxiety, n. [< scan + anxious.] Anxious prior to a scan (CAT, MRI, CT, etc.) for some kind of disease or malignancy.

I have my CT and PET scans tomorrow. If I weren't so irritated that they scheduled me for an 8:40 P.M. CT scan, I would be a little more anxious about the tests. I have my PET at 1:00 p.m. and then I get to wait around until 7:00 p.m. when I get to start drinking that lovely barium for the CT scan. I mean, it's not like I don't already know every inch of that hospital, every aisle of each gift shop. So, I think this will be the perfect time to catch up on some reading. We'll see. Oh, I forgot about the rest areas, I could catch up on some much needed sleep. I have a four hour break, hell I could possibly do both. lol!

I then see my stem cell doc Friday and if all is well (as it should be) I could be looking at a 3 month break from hospitals, poking, prodding and parking fees!! Crossing my fingers and toes that will be the case.

I do have a bit of a rant. I know I shouldn't be complaining, because I am so grateful to be home and relatively healthy. But this LTD process is not what I had expected. I was under the impression it would just roll over and I wouldn't have to do anything. My STD ended October 22nd and for over a month now I haven't received a check for LTD yet. It's close to Christmas and I don't know when I will be getting paid. With my luck, probably not until I return to work. Let's see, between my work bonus, LTD backpay, IRS tax return (wishful thinking!) and my full time regular paychecks coming in...February should be a very good month in our house! I wonder if we can postpone Christmas until then??? LOL! Seriously, if Gabriel wasn't working we would be in dire straits. And his job ends sometime in December, so we are really cutting it close. I'm going to see when I can go back to work Friday when I see the doc. I'm hoping she doesn't have any problem with me returning sooner than later. Anyway, we'll get through Christmas just fine, it was just a little rant regarding the darn insurance people and their red tape. I mean, I was just on STD and now it takes another 35-45 days to approve LTD...nothing's changed for me!! Ok, rant over....!

On a lighter note, a huge THANK YOU to all who have contributed to Amy's LLS Team in Training fundraising efforts. She's already collected 15% of her goal....GO AMY, GO! :) You guys rock and are really helping a wonderful cause. They provide so much to Leaukemia and Lymphoma patients.

Love to all,

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