I'm half asleep and I realized that all this I am going through is for my kids. I want to live for them. I am surviving for them. They give me strength. And being away from them for nearly the entire month of October is going to be so hard on them as well as myself. Especially when I will most likely be in the hospital over Olivia's birthday. Here I was thinking of myself, worried how I would be doing in the hospital alone and yet my kids are going to be the ones suffering more. I am all they know right now, I am their security blanket and I won't be there for awhile.
So, I take back my request for gifts in the hospital. Instead, I want to brighten my kids' world as much as possible while I am gone. Would all my angels out there kindly send cards and/or gifts to my kids while I am in the hospital? I think this will only help them through this tough time. They love getting mail; a letter or card saying how brave they are, how much I love them will make their day. I plan on doing the same. My goal is to try to mail one everyday I am in the hospital. I think I will need to pre-everything (address, write and lick), that way I won't be too tired to do all that and I can just give it to the volunteer to take down to mail. For safety reasons, I won't post our address. If you would like to do this, please feel free to call or email Liz, Lara or Melinda and they will be happy to give you the information.
Oh, one more thing. I've been told that that are no plants or flowers allowed in my room and now I know the exact reason why...read on:
"Invasive fungal infections are a major cause of morbidity and mortality in patients with profound neutropenia or with severe immunosuppression. As Aspergillus and other mould species are ubiquitous, numerous reservoirs have been identified. Mould infection in susceptible patients results basically from respiratory exposure to conidia present in the air and on objects that surround the patients. In this review, protective environmental measures directed at airborne transmission and other less frequent mechanisms of transmission of moulds, as well as their effectiveness, are analysed."
Ok, so now plants or flowers - got it? :-)
"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."